


This Could Never Start

by I_stole_a_cannon



Series: Jedi's Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: as much of a love story as you can get with the code in the way, jedi sentinels are a wild bunch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 08:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21371491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_stole_a_cannon/pseuds/I_stole_a_cannon
Summary: Rules were meant to be bentOR: Who said the Jedi didn't love
Series: Jedi's Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1328081
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	This Could Never Start

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so not technically a Padawan story, it is a take on the overarching themes of the Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation. Besides who doesn't like some yearning.

Dalayjah had made the decision in the middle of battle, but on the flight back to Coruscant, she was regretting it. She had survived a mission that by all accounts should’ve gotten her killed, or at least captured, but Martinex was far too good at his job to let that happen. He’d been her point of contact since she’d started as a Sentinel, her rock, and currently a royal pain in her side.

“Are you certain it’s too late to go storm a base and decommission some clankers?” Dalayjah asked. 

“You know it is. Can’t back out of a Sentinel bet. Also we’re literally mid jump.” He said. She groaned and laid back on the chairs. 

“This is gonna kill me!” Dalayjah said. As someone who had just spent the past six days being shot at, she knew it was an exaggeration, but that’s how she felt and no one could take that from her.

“The worst he could say is “I’m flattered, but don’t feel the same”.” Martinex said. “And Kenobi’s your friend.” He added. Dalayjah groaned at the mention of his name. Obi Wan Kenobi, the bane of her existence. A man she joined the Sentinels to get away from, her closest ally outside Martinex, the man who every time she looked at him, her heart forgot she was a Jedi and reminded her that she was still a girl. She’d tear the galaxy apart for him if he said the word.

Though the issue wasn’t really with Kenobi. It was with Dalayjah and a Jedi Sentinel tradition. If a Sentinel Bet had been made, there was no way of backing out of it without the loss of a limb. She remembered the brainspace she was in when she had made it, she was terrified that she was going to die. So over the comms on her last mission she had made a Sentinel Bet. If she survived the mission, she’d tell Obi Wan that she had feelings for him, and had harbored them since she was at least a youngling. Of course the problem was now she wasn’t dead, and the idea of having to utter those feelings to Obi Wan in person made her want to hurl. Maker, she was an idiot. The whole thing was a bad holosoap waiting to happen. 

The ship landed at the temple early in the evening. This somehow made Dalayjah feel worse. 

“I can’t do it,” she muttered as Martinex opened the gangplank

“You can, and you will.” He replied, clapping her back as she walked down the gangplank and messed with the ponytail that was holding her bangs back.

“Welcome back Kozivico, Garrex.” Master Mace Windu said. Martinex nodded.

“Glad to be back Master,” He said. Dalayjah nodded in agreement.

“Prepare for debrief in the morning.” Master Windu added. Dalayjah nodded again and as soon as the master left, she almost curled up on the floor of the hanger.   
“Master Garrex, it’s good to see you again.” Someone said as Dalayjah was slowly still considering sleeping in the hanger. 

“Thank you, I’m surprised we caught you Master Kenobi.” Martinex said. Dammit, she had to do it now, didn’t she? She slipped a glance at Martinex and he gestured in a _ go on _motion. Dalayjah looked up and sure enough, Obi Wan Kenobi was smiling at the duo. 

“Master Kozivico, I didn’t see you,” he said. “It’s good to see you again.”

“I feel the same Master Kenobi.” She commented. 

“I’m gonna go unpack, see you in the morning Dala,” Martinex said. Dalayjah nodded and saluted him. Obi Wan stuck around and smiled at Dalayjah. 

“Mind if I talk to you in private?” Dalayjah asked. Obi Wan furrowed his brow but smiled. 

“Of course Dala,” he said. Dalayjah really wanted to throw herself off the balcony now. “The gardens as usual?” He proposed. Dalayjah nodded in agreement. The gardens had been their corner of the universe since they were children. They weren’t Jedi in that garden, they were themselves. People of their planets, of themselves, not of the order. The duo walked to the garden with a little bit of suffocating energy. A walk with Obi Wan had never felt suffocating. He was always her fresh air, but maybe that was the bet trying to suffocate her. They arrived in the gardens and Dalayjah tried to take in as much air as she could. Obi Wan furrowed his brows as he watched Dalayjah mildly paced around the garden. “Dala,” he started to say. 

“Hush, I’m trying to pull my brain together.” She said. Obi Wan laughed and took her hands to have her focus. It didn’t help. “Maker, where do I start?” She asked the stars, or what little could be seen with the city lights.

“The beginning might be a good place to start,” He said with a chuckle.

“Not helping Kenobi,”

“Sorry,” Dalayjah took a step back and took a deep breath as she looked at him. The beard that had somehow made him prettier than ever, the blue eyes that twinkled in the city light, and the hair, maker she knew women who would kill for that hair. She shook her head.

“Can, can you turn around?” She asked. Obi Wan did so with yet another furrowed brow. Dalayjah tried not look anywhere in particular, but not looking at his face might make this easier. “Remember when we were Padawans we would all make bets?” 

“I believe so yes,” 

“Well, that tradition didn’t die, I guess? Sentinels have the same concept, except there are more stakes?”  
“How so?” Obi Wan asked over his shoulder.

“I heard a story that one time a guy lost his fingers because he backed out of a Sentinel bet.”

“Harsh,”

“Yeah no kidding. I… I made one.”

“Really?” He asked. “You always questioned the bets.” 

“I thought I was going to die okay Kenobi?” Dalayjah snapped. “I mean, I know I should’ve never doubted Martinex, but dammit it was very close for a minute.” She added. 

“So what was the bet?” Obi Wan asked. Dalayjah sighed and took a deep breath of sigh.

“The bet was… Maker, the bet was if I survived the mission I had to tell you something.” She said.

“Is that not what you’ve been doing?”

“Dammit Kenobi!” Dalayjah snapped again. Obi Wan turned around and tilted his head. 

“That’s three “Kenobi’s” in a single conversation. Dala,”

“What did I say about you not looking at me,”

“Dala,”

“Look! It’s nothing serious.” She said.

“It wouldn’t be nothing if you could say it, but you can’t and there’s a risk of limb loss.” He replied. “So tell me,” he said with a gaze and a smile that could only be received by knowing the man for some amount of time. Dalayjah dropped her gaze and ran a hand from her hair.   
“Remember when we were younglings and Coruscant stormed so disastrously I was shaking?” She asked.

“Of course, it was the first night you called me your friend.” He said. Dalayjah nodded and shifted on her feet. 

“It was also the first night that I realized that my feelings for you would probably evolve into something that wasn’t entirely platonically leaning.” She muttered.   
“Dala,”

“Hush, I have to get through this.” She said. She looked back at that gaze that she’d forever be thankful she got to be the recipient of. “Look, Kenobi, I would do anything asked of me in the name of the Order. But for you? I would tear apart the galaxy, chuck out the code and enact a rage we reserved for our worst days as Younglings. And the bet requires that I say the three words, because again: I’m an idiot. So, here’s the best I’ve got: Obi Wan Kenobi, I love you.” She said with a definitive statement. The two stood in the moonlight of the gardens and neither said anything. “Alright, fantastic, bet fulfilled, I can finally close that silly can of worms, good night Obi Wan.” Dalayjah said as she walked back towards the temple. If this night never got brought up again, it would be too soon for her taste. Her wrist was captured and she stopped where she was, and if she didn’t focus, she’d stop breathing.

“Do I not get a say in the matter?” He asked. Dalayjah didn’t turn back to him but furrowed her brow.

“I figured with the Code that you and I are so dedicated to, you more so than me, but I’ll accept the rejection you wish to give.” She said. Her words were clipped and coming out of her mouth faster than she expected. But Obi Wan kept smiling at her and she didn’t know what to say. 

“While it’s true that the Code will bound us from anything stronger than words, but I can live with that.” He said. 

“Kenobi,”

“My turn yeah?” He added, effectively cutting her off. “I know it’s less than ideal,”

“Was the war your first clue?”

“Dala,”

“Sorry, continue.” She said with a chuckle. It was the first time she had smiled since arriving back in the temple and this whole mini ordeal started. Obi Wan returned the smile.

“As I was saying, I know that both the war and the code make this less than ideal, but you’re not alone, in the not-entirely platonic feelings.” He said, taking her poor phrasing and almost making it poetic. Now, that just wasn’t fair. His grip shifted from her wrist and dropped it into her hand. It was hardly the first time they had held hands, but this time felt different, softer even. Dalayjah smiled and gave it a small squeeze, surprised when her hand was squeezed back. “I cannot deny this.”

“We can’t do anything about it.”

“I… I can live with that.” 

“I’m glad you can,” Dalayjah said with a small sigh. “What do I do when I’m in the far ends of space?”

“Know, that there’s a candle burning for you here.” He said. Dalayjah flushed almost immediately, how _ dare _he be poetic when she’s trying to distance herself from the idea that was hanging in the air. She didn’t want to regret opening this up, but was she ultimately better knowing that Obi Wan felt the same as she did. The seeming saving grace that she had in all of this was the fact that her job as a Sentinel meant she was never at the temple, but that also seemed to be the negative. Her toes curled in her boots. She squeezed his hand again, and once again she was surprised when he did the same. 

“It’ll take some getting used to, not to mention…”

“I know,”

“Pesky little thing isn’t it?”

“So it seems,” he said with a chuckle. Dalayjah joined in and her heart felt light. Their gazes were soft and just a little crooked, like they were scheming on how dismantle the universe and make it work for them. 

“As enlightening as this has been, I’m exhausted and have to deal with the Council tomorrow.” Dalayjah said.

“Understandable,” Obi Wan said. He made no effort to release her hand and Dalayjah finally had to wiggle her fingers out, the smile shared by the two of them should’ve been framed and held in an art exhibit. “Until the next time our paths cross Dala,”

“Until then,” She said as she started to walk towards the temple.

“See me after the war,” He called after her. She turned around and smiled.

In times of peace, there’s more time to love.

  
  



End file.
